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whatever passes through the air between my ears

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I seem to have completely given up on blogging, its been a year hasn't it?
Hmmm updates, firstly I do still read your LJ entrys and my thoughts are with all of you and the problems you are having and successes too!

The girls, hmmm, Avalyn is 8 and is still top of her class but no one has managed to get rid of the "talks too much in class" comment lol. She is also still up to divilment (just been corrected, english people say devilment :p ) Running between traffic on a fairly busy road and trying to get Cait to copy her. Michael has rightly grounded her but couldn't get her reasons out of her. Personally I think it's a combination of sibling rivalry and natural selection, killing off the weaker sibling so she gets everything lol kidding. However it backfired because Cait wasn't daft enough to copy her and went inside and told Michael :p

Cait is now 6 and is addicted to "puppy in my pocket" range of toys so now after Caits birthday in May there is a mass of potentially letal toys within range of their baby brother at Dawn and Michaels house. They have moved into a council house due to there being no work available in Waterford so the girls have to change school next september, so thats a bit of a worry about bullying and adjusting to new friends.

Roisin, wow, where to start, 2 and a half, way ahead of her age in most things, balance, speech (she can hold proper conversations with adults) her counting is good but I've not started on alphabet but read with her daily so hopefully she will pick it up easily, coordination etc all brilliant according to the health specialists. The only thing letting her down is too confident with adults and will attatch herself to anyone she thinks should join her playing (very embarrassing at parks) but she is not confident with other children, so to address this we have enrolled her in pre-school, she starts wednesday, she was menat tot start next september but she enjoyed her visit there so much she didn't want to leave so she gets to go for 3 weeks before it closes for summer.

Hmm just read back over that, sounds like bragging lol, don't care, mothers rights etc :p

As for me, I am not doing great, rather not discuss it really just focusing on my girls to keep me going. All of them will be together here for the first 2 weeks of August!! Dreading all the travel and the backlash I will get physically but it'll be worth it.
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Cheery title isn't it, well it reflects my state of mind of late. I have been barely making it through the nights, sometimes only with the help of friends or the samaritans. I can't explain the inside of my head and even if I could I doubt you'd be that interested, everyone has their own lives and problems to deal with.

In other news, my laptop died spectacularly (£800 for a repair, me thinks not) so now I have a shiny new laptop instead of a new camera, and I know this sounds selfish but I was really looking forward to the camera but we never expected the laptop to die after 18 months, sony are bastards by the way. My new one, an acer even has fingerprint recognition as the password! How cool is that? I feel like a secret agent everytime I log into my laptop lol

All my girls are doing fine, Cait turned five and got a pooping baby alive doll, for some absurd reason she didn't agree with my arguement that she has both a baby brother and baby sister in nappies and she is more than welcome to change their nappies when they poop, she disagreed and said it's not the same thing as she cleaned dolly poo off the dolls arse, kids!
Roisin is running around like a maniac, there is nothing delicate about her or her voice, she can talk very well for her age however she spent a full half hour (timed it) yesterday saying mammamamamamamam mam mam, at variety of pitchs varing between man beast low to high pitch screetch, I am sure the neighbours thought I was killing her at that stage, although I wasn't far off it.
As for Avalyn, what can I say 7 going on 27, top of her class, actually both of them are, they come home with the top award most weeks which I think is being a bit greedy lol. Avalyn is into Hannah Montana and High school musical big time, but then she has always even since toddler, been very musically inclined, she is actually not embarrassing to listen to when singing whereas when my sister used to sing at her age I wanted to curl up into a ball of embarrasement for me and her lol
I have a week planned in Ireland with just me and Avalyn and Cait, so I am sure I will be fit to sue disney for the mental trauma I suffer from listening to hour after hour of sickly sweet songs. I wish I could bring Roisin along but I just wouldn't be able to cope. :(

Right, update done, cheery mask beginning to crack and needs repair. Hope everyone is ok.
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Can't cope with it between everything else and his mood swings I really can not deal anymore. I have tried getting him help but he won't help himself, it's like living with a scitzo. I having been trying to keep my head above board with everything I am trying desperately to cope with everything that has been thrown at me and that has got so much worse for me as well as trying to keep him going too. I can't do it anymore, can't keep my own head above nevermind his, am sinking fast.
Current Mood:
distressed distressed
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We went to Ireland for Easter to see my older girls and stayed at my dad's, caught up with my sister etc.

The girls are growing so fast! We had a really good time and made loads of things, fridge magnets, suncatchers, bookmarks, keyrings, lots or cards with feathers and stuff on them etc. They even had their first go at sewing pre cut out coin purses with the holes already popped out, it proved too difficult for Cait but Rob and I took it in turns helping her or distracting Roisin, Ava on the other hand did really well with only one mistake. They were in the shape of a chick and a rabbit with wiggly eyes

Near the end of the week we went to shannon to visit my cousins, I used to spend all my summers there so we are close, anyway it went really well too. Cait was amazed to meet one of my cousins who has the same hair as her, they clicked straight away and both burst into tears when they finally had to leave! Ava was in her element, a whole room full of people to pay attention to her

The girls took to Roisin really well and she to them, they included her in everything, shared everything from toys to food with her, helped her to walk, lifted her onto the couch to watch a film beside them and brought her outside to play with Roisin really misses them, as we were on our way home on the ferry and I was walking her around, she tried to stop and play with every kid she met and cried when their mums had to carry on walking with them


The trip has taken its toll on me though, I am currently in the middle of a flare up in pain, the specialist is not expecting an improvement for another three weeks
Speaking of specialists, I got to meet with her at the chronic pain clinic at the hospital last month and she has changed my meds, no improvement yet. I got accepted into a trial group pain therapy, it's too hard to explain but I was lucky to get in as there is so much demand, that started last week and continues every weds for 8 weeks. I was back at specialist today to update her, she has upped the new drugs so fingers crossed.

Roisin got new shoes today and she actually thanked the lady in the shop by going over to her and hugging her then waving bye-bye with a big grin, the lady responded by trying to take her home

Thats it for now, too tired to write more.
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Thats it, I am losing the fucking plot. I am having nightmares about the mickey mouse clubhouse characters turning on me and being nasty in a way only cartoon characters can, but worse, so much worse is I actually (as I was falling asleep) wondered how hot would Handy Manny be if he were real. He is a fecking disney cartoon character!!!! For feck sake, must wean baby off disney channel but then again I'll probably end up fantasising about Barney the dinosaur!
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I've not got a lot to update on. As most of you know, Roisin was very ill for a little while which gave me feck all time for anything else but at least she is better except for a cough now. During this time, all the stress and worry set off a flare up in my pain so have spent the last few days in agony. Despite it all I managed to bundle Roisin up on tuesday afternoon and take her for a very short walk around the block, funny phrase really as there is only a single line of houses lol. Anyway, this random lot are from tuesday.











One of the newest arrivals on "the block"






My old friend the village guardian tree.







This little b****r comes to our house at 3am without fail and sings with Nev.







Cold but finally inside her grans house.


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OK I know I shouldn't get daft over a little thing like getting my hair cut but its been two years since it was last done AND I found a hairdresser who didn't hurt me!!
We couldn't really afford it since Rob's workplace have given everyone a 10% pay cut and we have to pay for the ferry to Ireland for easter too but Rob decided that since I couldn't find earrings I wanted and have been restrained with the book and shoe buying, that I deserved a trip to the hairdressers and he has also booked me into the opticians next week thanks to the huge amount of hints I dropped after Smiter got her new ones, yay!! I need new ones anyway, my favourite pair are scratched beyond belief and all I have at the moment are my kiddie proof ones "see following pics" They are actually childrens ones as the womens frames are too large for my head.
Plus he has promised that if he manages to sell the motorbike within the next few months I can get an slr camera with lenses, although I am not counting on that it's still nice to think it might happen.

Roisin has learned to say Bugger, she sits in the supermarket trolley happily singing buggerbuggerbuggerbugger, needless to say Rob's mum got a telling off as she is the only one who says that word.

As anyone who knew me a few years ago when skinny, knows, my meds have not been kind to me and I have shot up from 8 and half stone to eleven and a half and as long as I am on the meds and in pain, I am unlikely to lose it. It's really getting to me now. Oh well.

Roisin gets her MMR vaccine tomorrow morn, should be fun, not. She had indian food with us last night, Matt (stepson 16) looking on in amazement as she stuffed herself because he himself was brought up on ketchup and beans etc and would has only now started to experiment, he was shamed into it last year when my girls would eat indian and italian and chinese and all he would eat was chips lol.

anyway Rob took a couple of photos of my hair cut (about 4 inches off the end and layered is all) one taken with camera at the back as thats all I would let him take, the other with his phone caught offguard, only putting it up so you can see the front, sad isn't it to get excited about an everyday thing to most people lol. The blowdrying made it blonder, has anyon else notice this happen?!?!









Current Mood:
amused amused
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I've not been online much or contactable by phone for a bit as some may have noticed, I think that is probably going to continue for a while, thanks to those who sent messages of support.

In essence I am not coping without the anti depressants very well and my gp gave the news that none are compatible with my new drugs that they are trying for controlling the pain. I am not going to even start to go into my feelings and thoughts on this issue.

All my kids are fine although Cait hasn't spoken to me since new years eve, it's not malicious, she just can't be arsed lol she is always doing something. Ava makes up for it, she's so grown up now and still talks for Ireland.

Roisin is standing on her own, has discovered stairs and how to climb the couch and how to hide properly, although she still thinks she is invisible when she puts a bib over her eyes.
She has been helping me with the washing lately, taking it out, putting it on her head, handing the next one to me, etc until I have emptied half the load and have to unload the other half from her head, this is fine until I answered the door and she followed me out wearing three pairs of my knickers around her neck!! The postie was very amused.
She now pats you on the back while cuddling you saying "Awww" and no matter where you are or what she is doing if you say "Aww" she will wrap her arms around herself and pat saying aww too! Adorable.

She is however teething again but not grumpy with it, she does get pangs though which lead her to suddenly jerk forward and bite whatever is directly infront of her, usually my hand, with a very fevered and vampirish look about her, and she has got a heck of a strong bite now!
She is able to join in at toddler group now, on thursday we made valentines cookies for Rob, and she managed to keep her concentration right through to the icing but putting the choc chips on became too much for her and she started picking them off again and eating them lol, so one half of Rob's cookie has choc chips, the other has smudged pink icing :p The other cookie didn't even make it as far as home, Roisin and I ate it lol

Anyway, it won't be long til she is up again so I had best try to grab some sleep, rob has changed shifts now so he is working four 12 hour days, then four off, then four on etc. The 12 hour days are exhausting for me, Roisin is extremely active, she nevers stops and that is not an overstatement, its the first thing everyone comments on about her, her naps are even getting less and they were only a half hour twice a day to begin with!! There is no such thing as a quick coffee and a couch for five mins with her around. I need Rob having a few days off just to recover!! Well at least she is healthy. Night all.
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Sekhmet



Observant, authoritative, indulgent, moral and witty.

Colors: male: green, female: turquoise
Compatible Signs:
Bastet, Geb
Dates:
July 29 - Aug 11, Oct 30 - Nov 7

Role: Goddess of war and vengeance
Appearance:
Lion-headed woman with the sun over her head
Sacred Animal: lion


What is Your Egyptian Zodiac Sign?
Designed by CyberWarlock of Warlock's Quizzles and Quandaries


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48 QuestionsShare
Today at 10:00pm | Edit Note | Delete
48 Q's... I did it, now it's your turn :P Share

Here are the rules - post this list on your profile (in Notes) replacing my answers with yours.

Tag 25 people to do the same thing.

If I tagged YOU, it's because I want to know more about YOU!

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
Nope, my mother just liked the name.

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
today, my baby turned one and is growing up.

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
sometimes

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
Ham?

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
yes 3 girls

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
Probably

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM?
who me never

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
Yes

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
Not enough money in the world

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
Special K peach and apricot

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
rarely

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
Thorntons rum and raisin

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
eyes, cliche isn't it.

15. RED OR PINK?
Red, definately red

16. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
my weight

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
my mother

18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO COMPLETE THIS LIST?
Yes!

19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
red skirt and knee high black boots

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
Rob playing fifa 09 on the xbox 360

22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE
red

23. FAVORITE SMELLS?
My kids when they are sleeping, roses, I adore roses especially white ones.

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
My eldest daughter

25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?
Yes,she's mental

26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
moto gp

27. HAIR COLOR?
red/ blonde

28. EYE COLOR?
grey with hints of blue

29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
nope im a speccy wearer

30. FAVORITE FOOD?
chinese crispy chicken with chilli sauce or sirloin steak

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
scary movies, I hate soppy stuff

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
Mamma mia (at gunpoint)

33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
Black

34. SUMMER OR WINTER?
summer

35. HUGS OR KISSES?
equal really but hugs at a push

37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
tim

38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
cathi

39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
The moonstone

40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
don't have one, its a touchpad

41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT?
NUMBERS

42. FAVORITE SOUND(S).
my kids playing, birdsong in the woods near the stream at my dads

43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
Beatles (purely because my cousin Susan and I spent summer after summer singing their songs together.

44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
Australia

45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
Nope

46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
Kilkenny

47. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK?
all of them

48. HOW DID YOU MEET YOUR SPOUSE/SIGNIFICANT OTHER?
on the internet
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